I often find myself helping clients with the strong emotions they experience. These can be unwelcome or overwhelming feelings such as fear, anger, shame, love or sadness. They are often so powerful that the the individual seeks to somehow contain them or feel shame about them. The mind can get very busy trying to manage these emotions where they can cause a cycle of worrying or even panic.
I try to provide a safe and supportive environment where we can slowly and gently pay attention to these emotions, how they are felt as bodily sensations, and stay with them without judgement. This allows for a connection to the emotions as a valid expression of how you are processing your life experience. If we include an awareness or a memory of whatever good things you have in your life, this helps in meeting the difficult feelings. Working with anxiety and feelings in terms of sensation in the body right now, means that we are paying attention to your physiology. The physiology is relatively simple compared to the psychology of the complex stories we have about ourselves (1). This offers is a good chance of tolerating difficult emotions and the possibility of self-regulation.
This doesn’t mean to say it is simple – everybody is different and people are complex. But with time, patience and compassion most people respond well. What I love is when someone who was once overwhelmed is able to manage their emotions. This is not because life is without problems but because they have learned how to recognise, allow and regulate their responses.
1. When it comes to healing trauma, psychology isn’t unimportant, however, when we work with a body-up approach, we can reset the overactive triggers in our threat detection systems. When the body is calm and we’ve quieted its protective reflexes, we can make more space to talk. Steve Haines.